Sunday 28 August 2011

Fit Birds

I was reading about vultures after a phone conversation with my friend Dave led to a dispute over pigeons. He thought carrier pigeons were called passenger pigeons. I thought that sounds like nonsense I also had the internet and checked, expecting to find no valid entries for passenger pigeons. Interestingly passenger pigeons did exist but are now extinct, and no they didn't carry passengers or stuff for humans (like carrier pigeons did and still do) as far as I know. Wikipedia them here. It's a sad dodoesque sort of story.

As an attempt to move on from the passenger pigeon debaucle Dave dropped a bit more unsubstantiated knowledge. This time about vulture behaviour, sort of implying that they have ESP and that's how they all gather around a kill from miles away. This may or may not be the case my Google Search found nothing relevant in the first 2 minutes and I sort of gave up, but it did lead to the discovery of this cool safari safety fact.


As the above image shows, if vultures in Africa are sitting in trees around a fresh kill, even if it at first appears to be unattended there is usually a large predator in the vicinity. So DO NOT approach to try and cut a steak off the zebra because Simba has grown up and is now the Lion King and he WILL eat you.

On the subject of lions I was in Cornwall surfing and after my lovely surf at Widemouth Bay we went to a pub in Bude and had a few drinks and discussed cupping. For anybody who doesn't know, cupping is the sort of cup shape you make with your hand when you are cupping something, such as a boob.

It was unanimously decided that the best cupping scene in all of film history was... 

The Lion King - monkey cups lion's bum.

 

A text-book cub-cup. This cup can be found at 2:49 and lasts for a mere 2.5 secs but the epic soundtrack that precedes and follows this particular cup puts it up there as the best movie cup of all time. The cupping sound effect is also so self-assured and confident, a true marvel of recording.

As a bonus fact, this is an actual translation of what the African bloke is shouting at the beginning of the tune.

Nants ingonyama bagithi Baba  [Here comes a lion, Father]
Sithi uhm ingonyama           [Oh yes, it's a lion]

Nants ingonyama bagithi baba  [Here comes a lion, Father]
Sithi uhhmm ingonyama         [Oh yes, it's a lion]
Ingonyama                     [Lion]

Siyo Nqoba                    [We're going to conquer]
Ingonyama                     [Lion]
Ingonyama nengw' enamabala    [A lion and a leopard come to this open place]


I never particularly wandered what he was shouting but now I know, and it seems pretty sweet.








Saturday 20 August 2011

hot fruit

Melt Banana are pretty Japanesey. Apparently they've been around for ages. It appears that John Peel was a bit of a fan and described them as "the best live band I've seen since Captain Beefheart". They've got a few live videos, most tend to be sub-par sound quality. I did however, quite like their cover of Blondie's Heart of Glass. Defo worth a search.

Melt Banana are:

Refreshingly Energised...



Now I'm not totally against the concept of policing  (like perhaps the NWA were) but here's a list of my most recent encounters. It's truly inspiring work they do...
  1. Had my bike stolen and so reported it, they said: "I wouldn't hold your breath if I were you".
  2. Got pick pocketed and so reported it, they said: "I don't suspect we'll find who did this".
  3. Got stopped whilst cycling over a perfectly safe junction and was threatened with a fine! the cheek. Never there when you need them, but all too present when you don't.
  4. Got stopped whilst drunk on my bike outside a pub, with my friend sitting on the handle bars. They asked if we were drunk, we said "yep". So at this point they tried pulling my leg by saying "the bikes been reported stolen" I said "what!?" they said "yeah we're gona have to confiscate it til you can find a receipt".(cue some chortles from the officers) Funny buggers.
Still... I managed to slip a comedy "fuck off" into the conversation but it was filled with such a bitter and genuine sub-text, which they didn't even remotely pick up on. So who's laughing now officer!!!??? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    And I'll be laughing all the way to Liverpool St. Station, where I shall be filling out forms for and paying for a replacement Young Persons Railcard, stolen in incident number 2.

    Here is an epic personal battle between man & machine. I like the bit where he starts to ride upside down.
     


    enjoy.